"What Are Your Hobbies?" *Stares Blankly*
Do "sleeping" and "staring at the wall in silence" count?
Hi, hello. I accidentally took a very long hiatus from Substack. In that time, I mommed full-time, worked part-time, and enjoyed Thanksgiving, Christmas, CJ’s first birthday party, and False Spring. Oh, and I also went to pelvic floor physical therapy and finally started working out again.
I’ve had a tough time being consistent with my writing because I finally decided that I need to take care of myself. So from October through December, I went to the podiatrist (to sort through a long-standing pain I’ve been ignoring), got a massage (I need approx 4,000 more), bought all new skincare, finally used a teeth whitening device I bought in 2021 (TBD if it actually is doing anything), and started pelvic floor PT to try and fix some related issues (and hopefully also my back pain).
At my first appointment, my PT asked me the standard intake questions: “Where does it hurt? How often do you experience leakage? How active are you? Are you still breastfeeding?” I answered all of them promptly, until this one: “What are your hobbies?”
I let out a snort, and my PT, who is also a mom to young kids, laughed a little and noted how she knows having a baby at home makes it hard to really have hobbies. But she still waited for my answer, and I started to get embarrassed that I didn’t know what to say.
The truth is… I forgot about my hobbies. I had spent the last year so consumed by this new role and life as a mom, that I couldn’t remember what I did for fun before that. I tried to think of what had excited me and brought me joy lately. Sleep. Quiet time. A solo grocery shopping trip. Sleep. A hot cup of coffee. Good start, Amy, but none of those count as hobbies.
I think I ultimately said that pre-baby, working out, hiking, and cooking were some things I liked to do in my spare time, but hadn’t made much time for lately and am hoping to do more of.
Since then, I’ve been thinking more about this question. What are my hobbies? What are the things I want to make more time for, because they bring me joy and help form my identity outside of being a mom? I’m listing them here to keep myself accountable—if you want to check in with me in a few weeks and ask if I’ve done any of them (and yell at me if the answer is “no”) I wouldn’t be mad.
Finding new recipes on Pinterest and cooking them
Walking in the park
Gardening & taking care of my houseplants
Exercising
Trying new restaurants
Hiking
Reading for fun
My friends and I also made Bingo cards full of goals for 2024, and I put a lot of goals related to these things above (and more) on there. Having to really sit and think about what I enjoy doing for myself made it easier for me to come up with related goals that would ultimately keep me on track to taking care of myself (body and mind) this year. 2023 was all about CJ, and while I know that every year for the rest of my life will be majorly about my kid, 2024 is the year that I feel like myself again. It’s already off to a pretty damn good start. I just wish I had started prioritizing myself again sooner.