My Daughter Is Starting Daycare. I Can't Stop Crying.

It's time for our first big transition (of many) of 2025.

On Monday, my daughter starts part-time daycare. For the last 2+ years (25 months, to be exact) I have been her full-time caretaker. It still feels weird to label myself as a stay-at-home mom, since I work part-time too, but that’s what I have been. In the beginning, I guiltily dreamed of days to myself, where I could check items off both my personal and professional to-do lists, and also just take a break when I needed one. Now? I cry every time I think about dropping her off for her first day.

Some quick details about my situation: I am a freelance writer and editor. (My husband works a typical full-time, salaried job.) When CJ was born, I scaled back to part-time work. The amount I could take on changed each month alongside her development and, specifically, her naps. But essentially, I’ve spent the last two years working frantically while she napped, and wrapping up work in the evenings after my husband got home when necessary. This…hasn’t been easy. Help from some incredible family members ultimately made it possible, giving me a handful of extra hours each week so that I could actually fit it all in and stop working most nights. (I was burning out really badly and didn’t have any time to take care of myself.)

The reason I took this specific turn in my career about six years ago was so that I’d have the flexibility to be home with my kids in the future if I wanted to. I know that daycare is often the only—and best!—option for a lot of families, but my husband and I felt really strongly about be staying home if we could make it work. My mom was a SAHM and I always thought I would be, too. So, we made it work. I’ve been able to be with my daughter throughout her first 2 years and I’ve somehow pulled in a decent income working part-time this way. But, all good things must come to an end. And, as I keep reminding myself, it’s for the best—for both of us.

The reality is, CJ is a very social toddler. She wants to play with other kids, and gets really excited when she does. She is smart and outgoing and honestly ready for “school” and all of the new experiences that come with it. At the same time, I need to work more. We bought a new house right before she was born, and there are now a handful of things we need to dedicate a large chunk of change to. We need to buy a new car sometime soon. Also… we’re expecting baby #2 in the spring (yay!). Which means I’m going to be taking another unpaid maternity leave for a few months.

So, for many good reasons, she’s going to daycare part-time. We’ll have one full day a week to be just us two, and another half day. I’ll have mornings and evenings with her (and my husband). I can’t help being sad, though. In the early days, being a SAHM felt isolating and lonely. Now, my daughter is my little buddy. I throw her in the car and we go run errands together. We stop to grab lunch. I genuinely am so happy and grateful that I get to spend so much time with her and experience every single new thing she does or says.

I’d also be lying if I didn’t say that I feel a little guilty? I still can’t really vocalize exactly why. But, moms get it. The guilt always finds its way into any situation. My husband keeps reminding me that she is going to absolutely THRIVE, and I am going to be fulfilled by doing more work and spending more time interacting with adults (albeit virtually). We’re pretty sure I’m more upset about this than she is: I brought her in last week to drop off some paperwork, and she refused to leave the classroom, already ready to jump right in and play with new friends. (Really hoping that attitude sticks come Monday.)

In my defense, I am pregnant and it’s not much longer until there will be another baby here and all my solo time with CJ will dwindle. Not that we’ll never have special mother-daughter time again. But it certainly won’t be the same. Our family dynamics will change, and I think I am mourning that at the same time. I’ve had so much quality time with my girl for 2 full years, and it really is the end of an era.

Transitions are hard. Something that I’ve learned throughout this whole parenting journey is that often they’re harder for us adults—toddlers are surprisingly resilient if you give them a chance to be. Which ultimately is how I’m reassuring myself: Maybe I’ll be sad about the change and miss my girl a bit, and maybe she will miss me too, at first, but this is ultimately a good change. Once she adjusts, she’s going to love it. And how can I not be happy seeing her grow and thrive and spread her wings? Isn’t that the whole point of all of this? (I’m crying again, btw.)

I’d love to know: What has been a difficult transition or period of change for you and your family? How did you power through? What did you take away from the experience?